Weapons, banks, business, bureaucracy, politics, and the free spirit
taken from ANARCHY OF SPIRIT: an epistle for ridiculous times, from early writings by Jack Haas: this is a rare, online book
Oh indeed, the gentle rhythm of the spirit is all but wholly extinguished in these days of unnatural lives and petty actions, and I cared for none of it. Think of what it is to be natural, and you will understand how far astray mankind has gone. Nothing here but clothing, clocks, fences, signs, pavement, television, telephones, engines, racket, school, fire, weapons, banks, business, bureaucracy, politics, borders, rules, passports, paper, condoms, surgery, pills, walls, wire, forks, knives, cans, haircuts, makeup, shoes, sports, shovels, stores, diplomas, titles, careers, money, rent, hospitals, hotels, holidays, furniture, wheels, churches, names, dams, factories, fools, failures, fanatics, and so on. The whole mess of it one great, terrible lie. A pandemonium of pernicious delusion. All of it. Everything we have created we have done at our own peril. We have walked away from the beauty, and joy, and the miracle of living. We have made heaven into hell. And there is no way most people will change until God lines them up and puts a bullet through the back of their heads. And who can wait for that? The only thing is to steal as much of heaven back as possible; to work little, need little, spend little, to live and dance and hold your brothers and sisters in your arms with one eye pointed to heaven and one eye keeping a watch on this hell, and never to deny your heart its inmost yearning.
And though it is easy to accuse the world of the spiritless and miserable conditions of the day- for certainly therein lies no innocence, and I will never forget the perpetual atrocities committed by mankind which succeed only to further lead the individual away from their true self- in the end it was not the world which bound me into the prison of the false life, but my own trespasses therein, and eventually I recognized that it is up to each of us to stay or to leave, forgive or hate, to doubt or to believe, and until you come humbly to that arduous understanding, all your little games of emancipation will merely build more solid walls.
Originally, you see, I had found an entrance and mistook it for my home; I confused the doorway with the castle, and lived wretchedly in the foyer of mankind’s interpretations. Then one day- by grace it was- I found a hammer, lifted it with my tired arms, and went forth savagely into the pain, the lies, and the folly, and I have not yet stopped from smashing. Wherever there is a wall, there is open space behind it.
The only way to break through is to learn to feel. The only way to feel is to kill the mind; to weep, to laugh, to scream, to punch, whatever it takes. If the mind holds the reins the battle is over.
When finally my heart opened up I realized why it had been closed for so long, and why we are taught to keep it that way- because when your heart opens up honestly and to everything, and you can really feel what there is to feel, that is when you will know you're in hell. Not just you, but everyone. And suddenly life is much harder. And that, my friend, is why the heart lies dormant in our lives, and in the world.
It is as if I tapped into God's own anguish. And when that happens it takes you under, it takes you way down, and wrecks you on the bottom. And even if you can rise up from that, and make it back to the surface, a little piece of you will be left in the depths of agony forever.
And so you see, given these understandings, I could no longer hide my pain from the world. And my pain was the world’s pain. And so I could no longer hide the world from itself. And when that happens, let me tell you, the world will take up arms against you, because you did not, or could not, lie its lie, and you have exposed its worst repressions to itself, and that means you are a monster, or worse... a man.
Early writings by Jack Haas: a rare, online book.