Heaven and earth within the living god-soul

taken from ANARCHY OF SPIRIT: an epistle for ridiculous times,  from early writings by Jack Haas: this is a rare, online book

page 30

 

So it was as such that I became life in death. Born I was out of death- the death I was witnessing and calling life, but which was not life. Yet I would not know that until I was born for the first time into Life, and not, as had previously happened- into Death. And so I found the one thing worth finding- my own eternal Spirit.

Along the way I roared because I had to roar. I danced because I had to dance. And I wept because I had to weep. Because I was caught in being also, and I hated it, loved it, wondered at it, and suffered it to the fullest completion of my soul. I dove into the deepest darkness I could bare, and flew to the highest summit on which I could stand.

I had to destroy, to disorganize, to go mad, for there was no other way to complete the necessity of my being within the claustrophobic structure avowed to our life. 

Oh, let me tell you, without a hint of arrogance, that I became what it is only possible to become when the opposites of contempt and mercy, thought and feeling, and anger and succor come to exist with equal intensity and so fuse into one; when you come to fully disdain life, and yet praise it as glory, without ever contradicting the One. Which is to say I became ...a man. And I became such for no special reason but that I began to care ...with ruthless love.

And a man knows how to stand alone in the midst of a lie. A man knows how to laugh when others are weeping, and to weep when others are laughing. A man knows how to believe in no one but himself, and so to believe in all people. A man knows how to forgive himself and others and so to be capable of forgiving ...God.

A man knows how to accept and reject, how to affirm and deny, how to be different and indifferent, how to fight and how to surrender, how to dive to the deepest depths to retrieve a retrievable soul, and how to let another drown.

And a man knows how ...to be a woman; to be whole; to descend into, occupy, inhabit, and become the rose of his own life and flesh. To be and to not-be, and thus to be two in one and finally free. To let the receptive, concavity of his being unvex the sublime pleroma, and only to bring forth His convexity in order to protect Her.

Most souls never become men- they remain boys all their life. To become a man is not a function of time, nor gender even, but can happen at any instant, when you become open enough to feel another's pain or sorrow completely; a man is born from the womb of empathy. Thus there are men who are but seven years old, and boys who are seventy, for maturity lies in the heart, not in the calendar.

And so, if one day you have come, as we all must come, to weep scalding tears for the loneliness and misery of the whole world- if you can take the entire suffering and lostness of mankind into you, hold it, comfort it, and then release it- then the trial of the heart is over, and you can go on your way.

Once you have passed on the chain which holds Heaven and Earth together, then you are free.

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Early writings by Jack Haas: a rare, online book.

 

 

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