Chastening by Jesus Christ, the wolf at your heals
taken from ANARCHY OF SPIRIT: an epistle for ridiculous times, from early writings by Jack Haas: this is a rare, online book
Many things I will never understand nor be capable of explaining. Why we are the way we are, why life is the way it is, when it all began and where it is all headed, of these I have not a clue. I know only that I have come here for important reasons, as have you, and if anyone tells you otherwise you can bet they have missed their cue.
There were many mythical and sublime events, experiences, and hallmarks throughout my journey, none of which were expected, none of which has occurred before, and many of which would be thought of as fable to the mass of people who live with their noses caught in the world. That is not for me to worry about. There are underlying realities within realities which must be lived in order to be real, there is no other way around it.
The messages will come in many sublime ways, in many unexpected forms, as many untold truths. You must see differently, hear differently, understand differently, if you are to follow the clues meant for you, and you alone.
Let them say what they will, but if you take up the task of living Life, Life shall take you up as well. To surrender yourself is to receive yourself. If you make the Spirit your calling, by the Spirit you shall be called.
Understand this and you will understand when I declare that somewhere in the middle of my turmoil I was visited by a fierce, benevolent force which entirely devalued my original existence. As such I was killed and resurrected through pain and mercy, and the most tender of love in the gnashing. There was a merciless killer within me, and he was killing only lies, and his name, if you must know, was Christ, and I was made naught but of lies. So you see what sort of relationship we had then.
Mine was a practiced, exacting crucifixion (crucial-fiction?).
Oh how I laugh now at the gentle Christ of our sleepy churchgoers. What a romantic heap of stool. The warm, cuddly Lamb of God ...my ass! Christ is like a wild and mad wolf at your heals. He is a murderer, and you are his victim. He will kill the lie inside of you with merciless love. The truth will set you free, but first it must destroy you.
There is no soothing balm but only the scalding flame itself, and you are the kindling. The chastening will not end but in your own death’s death. Thus perhaps it is that this violence comes out of love, but let me tell you- it is violence, make no mistake about it.
That cup had already been swallowed, but I took as my own the hemlock and Calvary rite.
When the Man comes for you, it is the most torturous blessing you might ever receive.
To be blessed is to be given what you have not the ability to take. To be blessed is to be shown the way, and yet be too afraid to follow. To be blessed is to rage against the merciful benevolence which sustains you, and to have bestowed upon you what you are not capable of accepting. To be blessed is to be humbled because you have what you did not ask for- the burden of a privilege you cannot imagine how to use.
To be baptized is to be shown who you are. To know who you are is to be who you are, and when you know who you are, even if the whole world were to rise up with judgment against you it would feel as if naught but a light breeze rustling through the trees.
Early writings by Jack Haas: a rare, online book.