God within the lost and abandoned soul
taken from ANARCHY OF SPIRIT: an epistle for ridiculous times, from early writings by Jack Haas: this is a rare, online book
If you are thoughtful enough, when you have walked through the point in life where you realize that all the dreams, and plans, and knowledge, and purposes the world has thrust upon you are nothing but pitiful rubbish, all of it, that the dead have led you to your own plot, have handed you a shovel, and have taught you nothing but how to dig your own grave- that is the point when you either crumble or grow. To crumble- to see the lie and yet continue to live it- it is to die into the life that men give you. To grow is to find that force inside of you which of its own accord thrills at the miraculous, privileged event of being, needs nothing from the world of the dead, and reaches infinitely upwards, and just as far downwards, through the limitlessness of the self, through the living I, into the Source, into Life, and lives from and for that spot alone.
And so, in the act of choosing yourself, you choose God, and thus unseparate the division between you. By living from your own centre, and not as a reaction to another's realities, you develop a gravity- you become a celestial force- and that way you draw all other celestial bodies to you.
The moment I accepted myself, I accepted the God within myself. And in that liberating, destructive instant everything joined sublimely together to become the One and Living Spirit, and my God from otherness into me ...and I was saved.
Ah, blessed be Thy entanglements which complete me.
Indeed I was eventually lifted from the earth by a force which I could not fathom, except that the earth and flesh made it possible, somehow, for the void ran right through me, and the hole that was not-me, was god, right inside me. Strange how these things happen. But they do.
Oh, it is not so much that we must transcend above being, but that we must descend into it. We are already above, the only thing left is to dive. Were the kite not tethered to the ground, it would not play so freely in the air; yes, the parachute upon which you fall to earth shall itself rise back up to carry you away.
The lost and abandoned soul wanders about on earth, never really touching down, never really belonging, never completely joining in, and therefore never assimilates its earth self, until it happens upon its homeless home, finds familiar wanderers, marries into all life for one brief moment, and then rises back out more complete and fulfilled than if it had spent its whole life in the air.
Thus we come down only so as to go up higher. We descend only so as to transcend. We fall only that we may learn how to eternally fly.
Let me tell you my friends, the only way to learn how to fly, is to leap to the darkness below. Climb as high as you can, but you won't get your wings until you fall without crashing.
Fall spirit, fall. It's the only way to learn how to fly.
For it is only through this world that we may come to grow above it; what does not put down roots, shall never climb towards the sun. No seed grows toward the sky without first germinating in the dark and perilous tribulations it will eventually no longer call hell.
And like seeds which first must leave the loving light, we suffer as we descend into the darkness- we struggle to blossom in the mire. Oh, there is no vision in the black soil; the seed buried beneath the cold earth shudders at the darkness as it begins to grow out of itself. It knows yet nothing of the sun, and even less of the heliotropic self ...it cannot help but naturally become.
Early writings by Jack Haas: a rare, online book.