Life's path, wonder, and the miracle of being
taken from ANARCHY OF SPIRIT: an epistle for ridiculous times, from early writings by Jack Haas: this is a rare, online book
Let me tell you, existence brings you everything you need, as long as you are earnest enough to need it. If you need nothing, nothing will come. But if you give a damn, if you are crazy with life and wonder, and possessed by the miracle of being, ardently digging it up, uncovering the immensity of this unbelievable creation, sedulously seeking to find and be what it truly is ...to be, then life will hand itself over to you, it can do no other. That is life. That is what it demands, and what it gives. To float along, comfortable in the tepid roles of man, is to never uncover yourself, to never know who or why it is you are, and that is the greatest sin, and the greatest crime an individual can ever commit.
If I pursued what the world considered impossible, if I desired what the world proclaimed could not be had, if I required what mankind could not offer, and demanded that which no one could give, it was because if I knew one thing, and that is that you must go for it with everything you have.
You can avoid it as long as you choose, and most will avoid it their whole lives. But somewhere buried deep inside you know full well that the world is an absolute lie, and that almost every step you take toward it is an act of lying. And so you must take with force what others will not give you, which is to say ...yourself.
The trick is to know all the agony, to feel all the sorrow, the separation and loneliness, the loss and confusion, and ...to not let it take you down.
That is what must be done, if our spirit is to exist in the world ...without being trapped by it.
You have to take your failures, doubts, and discouragements, and either cut them loose or carry them on your back up the hill.
When you walk away, you just walk away. That is easy. But where then to go? God knows? Just away. You leave no markings by which to find your way back, for you are never returning. You forge ahead without thought of right or wrong.
If god must strike you dead for some unavoidable error, so be it. That is god's need. You must move forward. You must live completely, without cowering in the cold recesses of harsh divine abandonment. The further you go, the further you have to go.
You must look ahead without any memory or regret.
The flesh is certainly part of the route to the soul. You have to walk it's bumpy road.
When nothing works, plug ahead anyways. Other darknesses, other fires.
The best thing is to forget everything you ever were told, to start again, and to never look back from that road. Better, I say, to be lost and then found again, than never to have been lost.
Swallow it, or spit it out, but for god's sake take another bite.
Your life is your path. Take it as it comes, leave it as it goes. Plod on through that hollow centre.
The point of no return is the starting point; if you can go back ...you have not yet begun.
Everything falls apart, keep going and going anyways, spirit, cause once you come down... you're dead.
You must push on.
Early writings by Jack Haas: a rare, online book.