Guilt, fear, shame, self-denial, and freedom
taken from ANARCHY OF SPIRIT: an epistle for ridiculous times, from early writings by Jack Haas: this is a rare, online book
To be free you must be freedom itself. You must be nothing and everything, and much more than you could ever imagine. The moment you categorize, identify, create, or possess yourself, that self is no longer free.
The moment you inhabit yourself you inhibit yourself. The moment you talk yourself into or out of something, the moment you balk from fear, or shame, or conclusions- the moment you know yourself you begin dying. Strange that it must be that way- the beginning of decay- but it is. It only takes one wall to make a box out of you. One anchor, one need, one step in any direction described by mankind, and you are finished. You spend your whole life walking around that wall. And the wall never ends, and freedom lies inches away, and you never find it, and you die as dead as you lived. Your only chance is to burst through it. And the only way to do that is to lose what you sought to gain. And that is why it is almost impossible.
To be sure, all the gentle morons will do anything just to get in the way. Guilt, and fear, and shame are the weapons of their lies. All of it just a corrupt, demented effort to get you to betray your true nature.
They- the great they- and all others like them, will teach you how to feel inadequate- they call it being different- so that you should forever feel needy, and insufficient of spirit, and quiver at the thought of aloneness, absolute aloneness. Better to belong to a lie, they say, than belong nowhere. But all you need to do is have one good look at their lives- their terrified, neurotic, guilt-ridden lives- and that one look is enough to never have such need again.
They- the great they- for whom there is neither sin nor rapture, to them I turn aside.
Everything is futile, and if not futile, useless. Everyone is in pain, and if not in pain, they are numb. Numb from the struggle, from the loss, from the complexity, and the mad impossibility of it all.
They- the great they- are all far off the mark, and have strayed irreconcilably from the directionless way. No matter what they tell you, and man they will tell you a heap of things- like how there must be a job suited to you, and how you must bend and torture your soul into position to do that job, and if there are none that suit you, regardless, still you must work. You must keep working, for yourself, the future, the world. Set the clock and be ready to destroy yourself every morning. Come on, you are needed, just one more corpse upon the stack, and we'll have a proper pile! They will never be finished wheezing our their pusillanimous yarns, and artless fables.
They will say- this is what life is, and this is how you must live it, for there is no other way. And let me tell you, if you tolerate their false realities they will destroy you. They will keep you confused with useless information, and you will be punished for seeing right through. And if they succeed to confuse you, and you live full in the delirium of identity, only then will you have died.
It is now the height of self-denial, hypocrisy, useless learning, false paradigms, mutation, and madness- the whole flippin' bungle is converged relentlessly upon all and everyone in a rapturous choral Ode to Kaliyug.
Early writings by Jack Haas: a rare, online book.